The other day, I gave Ernest a slap on the butt for peeing in his pants, moments after he said he didn't want to use the toilet. I was pretty angry that I had to clean up after him, and that he forgot about not using diapers again.
A few days later, I was reading about the part of the brain called
amygdala. Most of us may have heard about the term "fight-or-flight". It is a response which is inherent in all of us when we are confronted with a life-threatening situation. This response is built into our brain when we were born. When a loud noise is heard, our pulse rate immediately shoots up, we are suddenly alert of our surroundings, ready to flee at the slightest signs of danger. The part of the brain which controls our reaction is the amygdala. In fact, research has shown that the amygdala also plays a pivotal role in the formation and storage of memory associated with emotional events. In other words, it not only has built-in default functions such as fight-or flight, it is capable of learning new functions which is based on emotional events. For example, if we experience a horrible traffic accident, we will be extremely cautious when we next get behind the wheels. In extreme cases, driving-phobia may result.
So armed, with this new found knowledge, I try to explain why physical punishment (of toddlers) still has a place at home. Punishment, reinforces learning in a way that repeated reminders cannot accomplish. I totally agree and understand anti-punishment supporters in using the soft-approach to teach youngsters. This method works because, repeated action (stimulation) will instill memory when it has reaches a certain threshold. The keyword here is
threshold. In the real world, however, time and resources (read: patience) is limited. So, we need a more efficient method to instill memory i.e. make children learn. Besides repeated action works only when it is repeated between an interval where the first action has not been totally forgotten. This means that we need to continuously reinforce learning. The problem is that we may not be presented with a similar situation which enable us to convey our message at optimum intervals. What I have just described is another form of learning mechanism called Long-Term Potentiation (LTP). But, I am digressing. I am sure I will talk about LTP in the future. For the time being, let's return to punishment.
When punishment is immediately followed by a stern lesson, it causes our words to be associated with the punishment and of course the customary crying which ensues. This crying episode is acceptable because it reinforces the lesson to be learned. This leads to a lesson which will be less prone to be forgotten, just like the traffic accident event. I think that when used sparingly, physical punishment can be very effective in teaching children. Different parents have different techniques. For those who have 'heavy hands', I suggest raising your voice to an unusually high level. This may not be possible in a quiet neighborhood, less people might think you are a child-abuser. So, you may have to use a combination of not-so-high voice with a somewhat physical treatment. When administering such a punishment, I urge caution. You don't want to cause permanent physical or emotional injuries. I recall my own parents saying, "You may hit a child anywhere except the head."
That same evening, Ernest requested to be brought to the toilet. A little punishment does go a long way, I thought to myself as I hurried him to the toilet. I was pretty glad and I made sure he knows how mommy and daddy felt that day.
Disclaimer: I do not condone child abuse, nor is this is an article that delivers the same message.
